with Wendy Hanovold, Ph.D.

Tuesday, the 10th of January 2006

The opinions and statements made in this chat session belong to the individuals posting them and appear in unedited form to promote the free exchange of information. However, they may not represent the views and/or policies of the Georgia Center for Resources and Support.

Shannon H: Good evening everyone! Tonight our chat expert is Dr. Wendy Hanevold and her topic of discussion is "Understanding the impact of ADD on everday life". Welcome, Dr. Hanevold!

Dr Wendy: thank you and Good Evening

C spivey: - has joined the chat -

Shannon H: Let's start out with the basics. What is the impact of ADD on daily life in a family?

Dr Wendy: I asked for this topic after having a recent set of new adoptive/foster families come to the tough reality that ADD does not just impact school

Dr Wendy: The impact of ADD (yes I realize it is really supposed to be ADHD-Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder) but lets stick with ADD tonite.

Dr Wendy: The impact often depends on a combination of the level of ADD or lack of in parents and the match between parent(s) and child

Dr Wendy: We inherit our adopted child's genes when we adopt. And often those genes are not a match to ours or our expectations

Dr Wendy: This is mixed with confusing information or myths about ADD

Dr Wendy: Myths such as 1. Children outgrow ADD 2. ADD is a school problem 3. ADD means you can never pay attention

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Shannon H: Can you summarize some attributes that the children exhibit that might make ADD a more clearly identifiied factor in a family?

Dr Wendy: ADD with hyperactivity is easy to spot. Parents often confuse the fact that Oppositional/Defiant behavior is the same as ADD

Dr Wendy: Oppositional behavior is not connected directly to ADD but rather a concurrent diagnosis

Dr Wendy: ADD without hyperactivity is much harder to spot. Related is the myth that ADD children cannot focus. Actually they often hyperfocus on videogames or anything that catches their attention

Dr Wendy: Often parents swear that children are "slobs", lazy, willful etc.

Shannon H: That was my next question! So they are seen in a negative light-quite unfairly of course!

Dr Wendy: You have to ask the parents to slow down on name calling and to start becoming researchers

C spivey: How do you deal with Oppositional and add together

Dr Wendy: Mel Levine has a great book called the Myth of Laziness

Shannon H: Where should this research begin?

Dr Wendy: Make sure the child has heard you before you assume the child is being oppositional. Never ask the child to do more than 1-3 things at a time. Use pictures/charts to help sort out willfullness from forgetfulness.

Dr Wendy: The research begins with gathering multiple impressions from school, other parents and relatives

Dr Wendy: ADD is a pretty global problem. It is rare that schools don't report some sort of problem EXCEPT with girls without hyperactivity who are often missed

Dr Wendy: Look at the child's room and notebook. Listen to the child's reasoning around missed homework, lost papers etc. Is the school asking a child who can barely remember three steps to remember 20.

Dr Wendy: Remember 40% of children with ADD have other diagnosis. That is 40% of nonadopted children. Can you guess our % - I bet it is much higher

Dr Wendy: Simplify our children's world. Move stuff into library closets and rooms. They have to check out 10 toys after returning 10.

Shannon H: So whereas multifunctioning people are seen as positive, these little ones who are lucky to do two things at once are often seen as lazy? I can see where highly functioning adults could be mystified by their child.

Dr Wendy: Newest research shows-humans rarely can multifunction very well. We are actually more efficent doing one thing at a time. But in answer to your comment

Dr Wendy: They really cannot do two things at once because they lose the goal or outcome of the two tasks. Even worse they usually struggle to self-monitor and are at a loss why everyone is so mad at them

Shannon H: How can we better prepare families for the future in parenting an ADD child? What trainings/counseling venues are available to potential families?

Dr Wendy: The other problem is that ADD by definition is highly variable. One day the brain just seems to pull it together and the conductor is conducting Mozart. The next day the brain conductor goes to lunch and everything is chaos

C spivey: How can we help the teacher to understand especially in the upper grades where tasks are multiplied?

Dr Wendy: CHADD is a great parent group. Mel Levine's and Russel Barkely's books are brillian

Dr Wendy: ADD for older children, teens and adults have become hot topics.

Dr Wendy: If your child has mild ADD -parents still have the right to have classroom modfications

Dr Wendy: ADD children do not appear to be at risk for higher rates of drug abuse because of Ritalin but are at risk for higher rates because of their impulsive nature

Dr Wendy: Thus they need all the classroom success they can muster

judy: Do you have suggestions for the household with 3 ADD + other diagnosis as to how to get going functionally in the morning before meds kick in to assist?

Dr Wendy: Adoptive parents who love a calm organized home are often unprepared for the culture shock of our children

Dr Wendy: We first try to change the child but need to take a tight look at our environment. We need to priortize

Dr Wendy: For example, Parents need to figure out the bottom lines for mornings

Dr Wendy: Bottom lines may mean- get up- brush teeth, get dressed-get out

Dr Wendy: Everything else is gravy. Parents may find it impossible to get themselves ready and the children. They may have to get up even earlier to dress etc.

Dr Wendy: Do not add any extraneous chores to the morning routine if they are not essential to your target goals

Dr Wendy: The breakfast dishes may have to stay in the sink or breakfast may be a power bar/shake

Shannon H: What are the characteristics of a family that has proven to be the most successful with children who have ADD? Are there any?

Dr Wendy: I see the parents who are most successfull as the parents who love their children but see them as they are.

Dr Wendy: Then they help their children move one step at a time

Dr Wendy: A child who can organize three steps at a time- is working at a Kindergarten level- But what if they are in Middle school. Well work on adding a fourth step before you add 20

Dr Wendy: Please -just for fun- list all the steps for all the tasks/homework/ etc. we expect from our children. There are a lot more than 3

Shannon H: Middle school is horrendous for my daughter, and i cannot imagine having special needs and trying to make it through.

judy: How do you get middle school teachers to understand this. Even with modifications they seem to think they can keep piling it on because it is important.

Dr Wendy: Shut off the tv- especially on school nights. No TV in bedrooms

Dr Wendy: Teachers have more training that anyone on ADD but they are so overwhelmed

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Dr Wendy: I recommend parents focus on succeeding with their middle school child at home (with homework, studying) or something and sharing with the teacher-what worked

Dr Wendy: The book The Organzied Student by Donna Goldberg is very helpful to help parents set up study areas

Dr Wendy: Sorry bad typing.. The Organized Student

Shannon H: How do these children do on testing? Our schools are inundated with every imaginable testing system and it just seems to be major overkill.

Dr Wendy: If you are an ADDish Adult-change yourself first- these children are very aware of do as a I say not as I do

Dr Wendy: If you are an adult with a high need for control-neatness etc. take a good luck inside yourself

Dr Wendy: Your job is to be a parent- be emotionally available- connect and share love with a challenging youngster. You did not pass on the ADD but it is part of your child.

Dr Wendy: And get ready to explain or not explain to family why you simplified your household, cleaned out the child's room, limited video games,....

Dr Wendy: ADD children ability to test is correlated to IQ and the presence /absence of other learning disabilities.

Dr Wendy: Some children actually do great on tests because they thrive on the challenge of time limits or even novelty on the SAT.

Dr Wendy: Other children need extended time

Dr Wendy: Actually homework and the daily grind of the classroom if often more of a challenge for our children

Dr Wendy: Medication does not cure ADD.

Dr Wendy: Even if children could be on medication 24/7 ADD would still impact families

Shannon H: How?

Dr Wendy: These children have problems with organization, executive planning, controlling materials ...

Dr Wendy: Just imagine how these executive functions impact everyday life

Dr Wendy: Every family creates their own solutions

Dr Wendy: And keep your sense of humor

Shannon H: But ultimately, the family willing to change and modify allows for the most harmonious, right?

Dr Wendy: You might as well enjoy the journey

Dr Wendy: Many of our children may have problems with attention secondary to grief, trauma, attachment etc

Dr Wendy: The interventions (except for medication) are generally the same

Dr Wendy: The interventions for attention that is

C spivey: how can you help them when they reach adult hood?

Dr Wendy: the hoAdulthood is easier than youth. First -they will need an organized partner or a great secretary. No I'm not kidding

Dr Wendy: They often do best with variable hours, - even travel (if they can remember their tickets)

Dr Wendy: Youth however (college age) still find it very hard to ask for or accept help

Dr Wendy: Parents pick universities for their ADD services but they cannot make their student go to the counseling center for help

Dr Wendy: The key to success is detours and strategies

Shannon H: Sounds like at least some of the pressure is off at least, once they can make choices regarding careers, etc.

Dr Wendy: Put challenges on the table and consult- ADD children are great brainstormers but lousy on the followthrough

Dr Wendy: Offer priveleges not consequences. As soon as your homework is done-you can play a videogame for 15 minutes rather than you did not do your homework so no video game

Dr Wendy: Thus the child /teen failed to earn the game rather than you took it away

Shannon H: It sends a very different message-one that is not so blaming.

Dr Wendy: Take a good look at what you do in the evening. We are often tired and overwhelmed. We want support and cooperation. Well we won't get it from our tired overwhlemed kids

Shannon H: How about self esteem? Usually lower in ADD children due to being misunderstood?

Dr Wendy: ADD kids are often struggling with low self-esteem

Dr Wendy: Remember that variability is the hallmark of the disorder

Dr Wendy: Thus they do great one day and we hold it against them

Dr Wendy: You cleaned your room yesterday- see you can do it. Now we ascribe their good job as evidence of defiance but..

Dr Wendy: ADD children often hyperfocus. They can be almost compulsive at times. They will organize and clean their room to perfection and then mess it up in minutes

Dr Wendy: ADD also has a high anxiety component

Dr Wendy: These poor kids and poor parents

Dr Wendy: Find what your child can do well - encourage them to do it

Shannon H: Any OCD tendencies?

Dr Wendy: Read Howard Gardner's Frames of mind-remember there is more to life to school

Dr Wendy: Yes- highly rates of OCD- related to the anxiety and hyperfocusing.

Dr Wendy: Thus they can play a videogame with incredible intensity

Dr Wendy: I work with and have lived with an wonderful Now adult with ADD. The ADD is still complicating this youth's life (and ours). ADD is a lifelong challenge

Shannon H: There are several good books in our resource library as well. Worth checking us out, that is for sure.

Dr Wendy: Just remember to see the child you love in the middle of the messy room,

Dr Wendy: Interview adults with ADD for ideas and advice- they are a great resource

Shannon H: Wish there was a website to find them. That would be ideal for struggling families, so they could have a template for the future, of sorts.

Dr Wendy: Please do not let anyone diagnosis ADD in your adoptive youngster without a full psychological battery. Our children are very complex and ADD may not be the primary problem or might not be the only serious challenges

Dr Wendy: CHADD has adult forums

Shannon H: And second opinions (and third and fourth) are not necessarily a bad thing!

Dr Wendy: Please read and educate yourself. But every child with ADD is a unique individual. Trust yourselves to find solutions. Check in with others but you are the expert on your child

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Dr Wendy: Oh and therapy will not fix ADD

Shannon H: Well, our time is almost up. Dr. Hanevold, you are a wealth of information on this topic and we appreciate your coming in to speak with us. This chat will be archived for anyone seeking to review it at a later time or for those who want to refer a friend who might be struggling. Thank you for your time. Any last thoughts?

Dr Wendy: Just to remember that adoptive parents really do "inherit" their child's ADD genes and thus we may be learning to map out a new world together. You can do it but it sure is not easy.

Shannon H: Thank you again. Would you like to offer any contact information for yourself if someone wants to touch base with you again?

C spivey: thank you for your advice, knowledge and helpful information, I live with several ADD and it is a challenge but worth ever minute

Shannon H: Or any other resources you are aware of?

Dr Wendy: my website is www.wovenfamilies.com

judy: thank you for your guidance

Dr Wendy: thank you for inviting me to your chat room

Shannon H: Excellent! You are a wonderful resource! Goodnight, all.