with Paul Knowlton

Tuesday, the 17th of July 2007

lorraine: Our guest speaker tonight is Attorney Paul Knowlton. Paul is a registered patent attorney. He is the co-founder of the Law firm Parks Knowlton LLC based in Atlanta, Georgia. Paul's law firm focuses on counseling, securing and protectin intellectual property rights. Paul was also a foster child in 1965 in New Jersey and he wrote the original Foster Care Survival Guide. Paul will share with us tonight meaningful insight on "Making the Transition From Foster Care to Adulthood."

lorraine: Paul will you please begin by sharing with us your motivation to write the Foster Care Survial Guide? ?

PKnowlton: Sure. After graduating from law school I was quite pleased with myself. But the satisfaction didn't last long. It quickly turned to frustration that I didn't graduate 10 or more years earlier, at age 29 or so, like so many of my classmates.

PKnowlton: ... more to follow.

PKnowlton: I thought about it awhile and decided the lost years were directly attributed to foster care. That turned into the question ....

PKnowlton: If the adult Paul could tell the teenager Paul "here's what you need to do to make a smoother transition into adulthood and save yourself a lot of time, what would that adult say." The minimum he'd say, which would be applicable to every kid in foster care, is what prompted the book.

PKnowlton: That's the short answer.

lorraine: What advise can you give teenagers today on helping to make the transition from foster care to adulthood smooth? ?

PKnowlton: there are five general areas i think every foster teen needs to address, and I'll be glad to walk through those. Please interject if someone has a question.

Shannon H: - has joined the chat -

PKnowlton: The first area is a miscellaneous group. It includes coming to terms with the questions of trust. As a teenager and young adult, my inability to trust adults was a real stumbling block. Times have changed and I see it's still an issue for many foster teens. .....

PKnowlton: A teen needs to be able to trust someone, an experienced adult - a mentor is probably the best label - who can help them through the even more difficult upcoming phase of life. Then need a mentor like they need air. ....

PKnowlton: Next in this category is they need an idea of how they're going to make a living after they age out or perhaps while in college. If they have a full paid college scholarship or some other funding, awesome, but highly unlikely. As a practical matter, they need to learn some kind of skill that can get them a job. .....

PKnowlton: Personally, I lucked into taking some drafting classes during high school and was able to get some vocation training after high school, then a job as a draftsman paying enough to pay bills. ....

PKnowlton: In addition, a foster teen should do everything in their power to age out with a high school degree. .... Personally, I didn't like high school very much, or school in general, but I doubled up on classes and took summer school just to make sure i'd graduate. I was worth the extra effort.

PKnowlton: The next category regards staying out of trouble ....

PKnowlton: It's so easy, as a teen and as a young to get into serious "your life is hosed from here on out" kind of trouble that the foster teen needs to not be so anxious ot take control of their life. ....

Shannon H: How do colleges, tech schools, universities view a troubled past on an applicant? Is there any way they could actually know about a juvenile record when a child who has one applies?

lorraine: Paul, were you able to have that trusted adult that helped to motivate you? Seems like you were pretty motivated inspite of your circumstances.

PKnowlton: Hi Shannon: neither tech school nor college knew of my foster care experience. It wasn't on the application. ....

Shannon H: Is there the idea that if you have a record, no school will admit you? And is that a possibility?

cathy: - has joined the chat -

PKnowlton: I myself don't have a juvenile record, but if I did i would have had to reveal it when I applied for my law license. ....

Kim: - has joined the chat -

Shannon H: My college experience was long, long ago, but I don't remember alot of delving into my past. I just wondered if it had changed.

PKnowlton: I don't think a juvenile record will necessarily stop one from acquiring a college education.

Shannon H: Surely not!

PKnowlton: Regarding the trusted adult question....

PKnowlton: I'd have to say no. I picked up help from various adults from time to time, but I think books became more of a mentor. ...

PKnowlton: Ot that I'm bookish, I just didn't know where else to go. ....

PKnowlton: As I got older and in the work force, mentors became available.

Shannon H: Is there a mentorship program in the school now?

PKnowlton: Which school? ?

Shannon H: high school or college that you attended?

PKnowlton: No, not at all. I gradulated high school in 1976 and college in 1989.

PKnowlton: finishing up on the staying out of trouble topic, a teen needs to start picking up some wisdom and knowledge. ...

PKnowlton: Two books to explore is "As a Man Thinketh" by James Allen, so old that the copyright has expired and can be downloaded for free, although the old english can be tough to read. And the Book of Proverbs.

jmont46: - has joined the chat -

PKnowlton: The next body of knowlege the teen needs is critical thinking. The problem is this ....

PKnowlton: once you leave the services available from the system or whatever support structure you have, you've got to learn to think and make good decisions because the survival skills learned in foster care won't help in the adult world.

PKnowlton: I was probably in my late twenties before I tripped upon the concept of critical thinking, before that I simply didn't make good decisions. ....

PKnowlton: A great resouce, even for a foster teen, is a book title Critical Thinking by Moore and Parker ....

PKnowlton: I'd love to see teens aging out resorting to critical thinking .... as best they can at that age. rather than fear.

PKnowlton: I'll quickly lay out two more areas, then slow down the typing .....

PKnowlton: Spirituality is an under developed issue in foster care. A recent study and white paper funded by the Philadelphia Department of Human Services issued a report titled "Untapped Anchor .... the role of Spirituality in the Lives of Foster Youth" ....

PKnowlton: it's available at www.pccyfs.org

PKnowlton: Finally is the issue of leadership. Teens aren't too young to learn core concepts about leadership because one day they'll be leaders, even if only their own family.

PKnowlton: Whew, I think that answers that question, Lorraine.

chatadmin: Paul.. What can adults do to to encourage the obvious motivation that brought you through?

lorraine: Paul, I had an opportunity to review your website and I am amazed that you can review the entire book free. Please share with everyone your website and information.

Shannon H: I love the resources you have mentioned. Any others?

PKnowlton: To answer the last two questions together, the website is www.sagesjournal.com. There I post the book and it can be read at no cost because I didn't want to ever hear a foster or former foster kid say .... "I could afford to buy the book. " The book includes additional resources .....

chatadmin: I thinking about the fear that can often haunt foster children. . Some mady need more encouragement and assurances that nothing is impossible.

PKnowlton: In part, I spent my twenties reading just about every self-help book, many of which were not very helpful. THose that were I mention on the website. Others include Dale Carnegie "how to win friends & influence people", Wes Roberts "leadership secrets of Attila the Hun" and some others ....

PKnowlton: Fear is the primary motivator and that's already instilled, I suspect . ....

Shannon H: Thank you for a terrific chat! There is certainly alot to know about this topic.

cathy: Paul, thank you so much for sharing this information with us, I want my 17 year old son to read this chat log! Your story gives me even greater hope for my son.

PKnowlton: I think the way to encourage the motivation is to be truthful about the future - the need for self sufficiencey - and start working on it early.

lorraine: Paul, you have shared great information and I encourage everyone to visit the website. Does anyone have other questions for Paul

Kim: Thank you for all the wonderful information It is certainly going to be helpful!

cindy: what would you suggest foster parents should do to guide teens to read books and not to become a just another street failure,

cindy: what would you suggest foster parents should do to guide teens to read books and not to become a just another street failure,

cindy: I wish this had been available for my teens, thank you for this informative chat

PKnowlton: Start with building trust and their self-confidence. I think failure is directly tied to those two attributes, or lack thereof. Obviously, it's all very individual specific but a strong answer comes in through hope or revenge ....

lorraine: Thank you Paul for sharing with us and we certaintly hope that you will join us again for a chat or a speaking engagement.

PKnowlton: depending on the teen ager, the motivator could be hope in a bright future or revenge by having a bright future. I hope that makes sense.

PKnowlton: You're all very welcome. Thanks for inviting me over and I wish you each great success. Best regards,

lorraine: Good Night Everyone!