Tuesday, the 28th of April 2009

Shannon H: Good evening! our guest tonight is Heather Beauchamp, the mother of a beautiful little boy who was adopted from Ethiopia. She and her husband also have a biological daughter born shortly after he arrived home! Welcome Heather! I guess the first question is: How did you come to the decision to adopt from Ethiopia?

heatherb: when adam and i decided to adopt, which was always our intention, we researched several countries

heatherb: we felt a real connection to ethiopia

Shannon H: In adopting from another culture, what made Ethiopia stick out as the right country?

heatherb: the culture, the people, and the stories of the familes who had adopted from the really spoke to us

heatherb: actually, soon after we started looking, we met up with another family at a loal ethiopian restaurant

heatherb: we talked to the owners and employees as well as this family and thier amazing 2 year old bot

heatherb: sorry, boy

heatherb: we loved the food, the traditions, even the language

Judy: - has joined the chat -

heatherb: it felt like something we could incorporate into our lives, whih is so important

Shannon H: You traveled there, I know, when you went to get him. Were there any surprises?

heatherb: i have always been drawn to africa

heatherb: yep...we were surprised by how there is SO much more to ET than poverty

heatherb: it's beautiful, and the people are lovely and accomodating, and just want you to enjoy th country

heatherb: we had a great time there, always felt safe and welcomed

Shannon H: What things have you incorporated into your lifestyle here?

heatherb: well, we celebrate 2 christmases now!

heatherb: oops!

heatherb: , guys

heatherb: laptop is wiggin out on me!

Shannon H: How is it celebrated there, and when?

heatherb: it's in january there

heatherb: we bought a lot of african items there for our home

heatherb: as well asclothing and gifts for charlie as he gets older

heatherb: we get together monthly with the atlanta et group

Shannon H: So that is a definite way to blend the cultures. Are there any other holidays significant to Ethiopia that we might not know about here? I assume there are.....

heatherb: there are a lot of familes involved right now

heatherb: there are! the new year is in september

heatherb: i think the 13th

heatherb: they are actually on a calendar that is7 years behind us

heatherb: so, when we were there in 07, they were all preparing to celebrate the millenium

heatherb: also, we attempt to cook ethiopian food!

heatherb: (it's tricky)

heatherb: but delicious

Shannon H: You mentioned the ATL Ethiopian support group. I know you are starting a southside support group! tell us more about what you envision for that.

heatherb: i am so excited about tha!

heatherb: so far, we have been the only ones south of downtown

heatherb: i would love to branch off sometimes and organize some events down here

Shannon H: What type of things will you do in the group to encourage the celebration of Ethiopian culture?

heatherb: all the restaurants are downtown of course, but i really want to do a pool party this summer, and organize a picnic for local familes

heatherb: well, as a group now, we sometimes dress up in our et tradional clothing, let the kids dress up..we have a DVD of ethiopian dancing that we watch

Judy: how have you been able to find other families that have adopted from Ethiopia

heatherb: letting the kids do that together is a hoot

heatherb: well, that very first dinner we had was with a family who had been home for about a year...they already had several connections

heatherb: the next time they planned a meeting, we tagged along

heatherb: at the time it was only about 6 familes

heatherb: at our get together in feb, there were over 20

heatherb: and that was before i knew about our new southside friends!

Shannon H: Do you find it hard to find ways to celebrate your son's unique heritage now that you are home?

heatherb: the kids all love getting together

heatherb: you know...it does get harder

heatherb: there is a bit of guilt that comes with adopting internationaly

heatherb: i dont think any of is feel like we are living up to what we should...once you have been there and seen it, it's hard to feel like you are doing enough

Shannon H: It is humbling...

heatherb: we do the best we can and i have to remember that we have busy lives and not to b too hard on myself

heatherb: charlie loves to al about "opia"

Shannon H: As a Caucasian couple, do you find you are the resident spokespeople for Ethiopia, or do you get alot of questions?

Judy: Have you been able to connect with any Ethiopian families?

heatherb: sorry, guys...internet would do this now!

heatherb: actually, shannon, i have had several people ask me where it is! if you can believe that

heatherb: judy, we have met some familes at the restaurants...the people there LOVE to see our kids.. as soon as we get there, they whisk them away and play with them the whole time

heatherb: you can tell they miss being in ethiopia

heatherb: the employees, that is

heatherb: other than that, we do not have any close connections with ethiopian familes, but i would love to work on tht

heatherb: perhaps have some folks join us at a gathering

Shannon H: There are probably many families around, It would just be a matter of finding them and asking them to help celebrate and teach the culture.

heatherb: that's a great idea

heatherb: it would really help us feel closer to the culture

Shannon H: What other type questions do you get?

heatherb: oh, always the "why not america?"

Shannon H: While families who adopt internationally almost always get that question, how do you personally manage that one?

chatadmin: does your family speak the language?

heatherb: no, we don't ....we picked up several phrases and words while there, but weare not fluent, unfortunately

heatherb: charlie still calls dogs "wusha"

heatherb: some things will always stick with us

Shannon H: In remembering your time in Ethiopia, what other things can you think of to celebrate the culture? Other differences that can be remembered and brought home?

heatherb: amharic lessons would be another fun conquest for the group

heatherb: well, the coffee ceremony is one

Shannon H: What is that?

heatherb: coffee was originally harvested there, and it is a huge part of their culture

heatherb: after a meal, they roast the beans and crush them in front of their guests, and then brew them and serve

heatherb: it'sreally strong, but so good

heatherb: we buy "opia"

heatherb: coffee online

heatherb: sorry, guys, my connection is going crazy!

heatherb: anyway, coffee is served at every meal, so that is important to us, too

heatherb: there is also a spice called berebe

heatherb: used in almost all traditional ethiopian dished

heatherb: we cook everything with that...it gives it that et flavor

chatadmin: what other special dishes are serve, especially for the holiday?

heatherb: also, the music. ethiopian music is amazing, and we al love to dance to it

heatherb: the main dishes are called "wots", which is like stew

heatherb: doro wat, which is chicken, is a thick red sause with a chicken breast and boiled egg

heatherb: there are also "tibs" which areslices of beef and lamb

heatherb: the best to me are the wots though...the lentils are amazing. it's all a litte spicy, but very good

Shannon H: Something that families adopting from Ethiopia get that many other countries do not offer is the chance to meet birth parents or at least part of the birth family. Was that a surprise and how can you use that knowledge to help Charlie later?

heatherb: meals are eaten of one big plate, on a wiker table called a masab

heatherb: we were surprised to learn that charlie had2 living birth parents, and that we would be able to meet them...it was literally the hardest moment of my life

heatherb: but also wonderful

heatherb: we asked them how they met, abou charlie's birth, and why they had to relenquish him

Shannon H: So not all children are necessarily orphaned?

heatherb: no....although there are many changes going on right now with the US embassy

heatherb: they are trying to keep familes like his together in most cases...but yes, most of the kids in our travel group had living birth parents

chatadmin: what made the birth family choose to place Charlie for adoption?

heatherb: several were abandoned, though

heatherb: they word they used was poverty...i was hoping for more details, but never got them

chatadmin: did the birth family get to select you and your family?

heatherb: i know he wasvery small and they had little to no food most days

heatherb: no, the agency matched us based on our rquests for age 0-114 months

heatherb: sorry, 14 months

Shannon H: You mentioned having photos of the birth parents. I would imagine that will be a wonderful thing to offer him later, during the years when he tries to understand his adoption.

heatherb: oh, yeah...we also have video of him WITH them, thanks to our agency

Shannon H: How old is Charlie now and what type of questions is he starting to ask?

heatherb: and a lifebook, with his story,photos of the house he lived in, and more photos of his parents

chatadmin: do you have contact with the birth family?

heatherb: he just turned 3

heatherb: he asked me just last week if he was in my belly in Opia....i explained that he was in his opia mommie's belly and then they asked us to come and help....at this age that's all i can say i think

heatherb: we don't...kind of a sore topic...at the time of our adoption, our agency facilitated contact

heatherb: it is very upsetting, since we did promise photos and letters

Shannon H: You are a very open family about his story, so i can imagine how that hurts. The story can grow with him, but I think having the video and photos are the best things you can have to tell his story from a visual standpoint.

heatherb: i'm not sure what we will do about that

heatherb: they are...we watch them often

Shannon H: Were you able to share with his family much about yourselves? Sort of as a way to let them know how Charlie will grow up?

heatherb: he loves it...and we have gotten in touch with some parents of the other children in his video who were at th care center at the same time

heatherb: yes, we did...they asked us about our careers, about what kind of school charlie would go to

heatherb: they also wanted to make sure that he would not be an only child

Shannon H: That is wonderful. What else?

heatherb: we assured them he wouldn't, and tadah!

Shannon H: How old is his baby sister, and how did he respond to her?

heatherb: There were a lotof questions...a lot of hugging and crying, too. I gave her a map of where we are, and where they are

heatherb: mallory is 9 months old...i found out was pregnant about 3 months aftercoming home. he LOVES her. and vice versa...match made in heaven

heatherb: he is the classic big brother, protecting her, playing with her

Shannon H: I know they would be proud to know he is a big brother. It is nice that she will grow up to understand her brother's culture too.

chatadmin: would you consider adopting another child fro Ethiopia

heatherb: yes! we have a ton of ethiopia stuff for her, to

heatherb: we would love to....the process is a little bit longer now, but i really hope to one day

heatherb: an older child, we think

heatherb: we are also considering foster care in the next few years

heatherb: but ethiopia is wonderful...i can't imagine our lives without it. best decision we ever mader

Shannon H: Tell us about the way you are keeping in touch with other families who have adopted or are going to adopt from Ethiopia. That will be key for all of you in blending the cultures successfully and keeping the Ethiopian culture alive.

Shannon H: You have a blog site for everyone with this interest?

heatherb: it is...i have a blog that i have kept up with since about 2 months before we traveled....it's all in there, and lots of other Et moms read it, and i read theirs

heatherb: it's an amazing way to connect, share stories

heatherb: we have et adoptive friends all over the country through the blogworld

Shannon H: Are there things you can recommend future families to do or get while in country that you wish you had done?

heatherb: there is a picnic in MN every summer and hundreds of familes go to that

chatadmin: that is wonderful, with your commitment I can tell you will be great and blending your family no matter the culture, you are to be commended

heatherb: yes! bury more gifts for your kids, as they get older. .video EVRYTHING.

heatherb: and journal while you are there

heatherb: thank you!

heatherb: he has given us a wonderfu gift by being our son

Shannon H: You can all help one another make the survival of their heritage a priority.

heatherb: that is definitely our goal

heatherb: there is always more you can do, and i hopewith the help of the support group, we can all make it happen

Shannon H: We have just about seven or eight more minutes. Do you want to share your blog address or contact information for families who are interested in getting involved?

heatherb: yes! the blog is www,adayatthebeauchamps.blogspot.com

heatherb: www.adayatthebeauchamps.blogspot.com

heatherb: if you search my archives, 2007 and early 2008 are alot of adoption info

heatherb: you can email me through the blog as well

heatherb: http://groups.yahoo.com/group/EthiopiaAdoptGA/

heatherb: that is our local Yahoo group....where we make lots of our plans

heatherb: you can join that just by messaging the admin

Shannon H: It sounds like your group has a bright future. There are several families on teh southside who are looking for just this type of thing! Thank you Heather! You will probably hear from several people really soon!

heatherb: also, if you link onto some of the blogs on y page, there are lots more familes there!

heatherb: i hope so! thanks for involving me....it's such an honor :)

crysti: - has left the chat -

Shannon H: The pleasure is all ours! Thank you for joining us and helping others!